"Dreaming of Revelry"

Right now I am a little obsessed with this song and the band it belongs to.

"in the dark of the night
i can hear you calling my name
with the hardest of hearts
i still feel full of pain
so i drink and i smoke
and i ask
if you're ever around
even though it was me
who drove us right in the ground
see, the time we shared
it was precious to me
but all the while i was dreaming of revelry"

I started to relate this to me and God. Sometimes I feel that He is calling softly, trying to see if I will listen. And I know my heart has turned hard. I never used to ignore things like this, I never used to give up and Not Care. So I distract myself and ask God to do things for me even though I'm the one that ignores Him. A very unequal and one sided relationship. The offer that He gives me is anything and everything a person would need, that opportunity to share with Him in love should always be enough. But I struggle with this because my Revelry becomes my Reverie. I create delusions and ignore what is really important.